6 Weird Things About Me

Alas...6 seems almost diminutive to my wackiness.

1. I have a perfectly round head. Seriously...like a basketball. This has been confirmed by precise measurements taken in the 5th grade as I desperately hoped a home perm would make all of the girls whose names end in "i" like me. If only I had been Emili...my whole life would have been different.

2. I HATE surprises. I attempted for weeks to weasel the photo below out of my sister. She only posted it for fear I self combused as it didn't arrive before 7am of my birthday. I truly fear a surprise party where I am the surprised. I hunt my whole house beginning in November for the Christmas presents, etc.

3. I wear ugly shoes. Sarah is like Imelda Marcos. She actually owns TWO pairs of hot pink shoes. One pair was not enough. I own four. Clearance rack tennis shoes. Brown and black walking shoes (think of your grandpa) and one pair of black "heels". They are rubber bottomed Mary Janes so I don't fall down the aisle as your bridesmaid.

4. I have fun paranoia. If I have an event, I spend the next day calling to make sure you had fun. I had to call home from a pay phone in Mexico on my honeymoon fearing no one had a nice time at my wedding. Hellloooooooooo open bar....but I am just irrationally fun paranoid.

5. I don't like strawberries. Hate them. Think they are gross.

6. I believe if I change my hair, I can change my life. I have been blond, permed, long, red, short. Whatever. I now keep it super short so I can be "transformed" every 4-6 weeks. It also minimizes the damage time of a poorly selected hair color.

Tag out.